A letter from Robert Glazer Founder & Chairman of the Board, Acceleration Partners From United States to me Cafe Music BGM channel

A letter from　Robert Glazer 　Founder & Chairman of the Board, Acceleration Partners From United States to me

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Friday Forward - No Orientation (#519)
Make the word no work in your favor
Robert Glazer
Jan 16






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Last week, I wrote one of my most popular Friday Forwards in years. It was about how a record level of personal and professional rejection in 2025 led to overall success, and how getting used to hearing no leads you to more yeses.

Recently, I had a conversation that flipped the concept of no on its head. When I interviewed Chris Voss, negotiation guru and author of Never Split The Difference, he revealed that a single unconventional question landed Voss a legendary guest speaker for his negotiation course at the University of Southern California.

Voss is a retired lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI who spent decades negotiating with terrorists and hardened criminals in the most high-pressure situations. These high-stress situations prepared him well for the situation he shared in his story.

After he’d retired from the FBI and began lecturing at USC, Voss attended a book signing with Jack Welch, former CEO of General Electric and one of the world’s most influential business leaders. Though Welch had never met Voss before, or even knew his name, Voss was determined to persuade Welch to speak to his class.

Most people would have likely approached Welch by humbly acknowledging how bold it was to even ask for his time. They’d probably sheepishly imply that they did not expect him to agree to their request.

But Voss took a very different approach. He walked up to Welch, introduced himself and asked: “Is it a ridiculous idea for you to come and speak at the negotiation course I teach at USC?”

Welch froze with an expression Voss called, “resting serial killer face.” Voss expected Welch to yell, throw something at him, or have him removed from the event. But instead, here is what Welch said:

“This is my personal assistant’s name. This is a Twitter account we have set up to talk with her. I will call her and tell her who you are. I think we’re going to be in Los Angeles in the fall. If we are, I will come in and speak at your course.”

As it turned out, Welch did come to LA that fall, and he spoke at Voss’ class, adding to Voss’ long list of negotiation wins.

Voss says the secret to that exchange, and similar situations he’s faced, is what he calls no-oriented questions. Because people are instinctively more comfortable saying no, seeing it as safer and more secure, a no-oriented question is phrased so that the asker actually prefers for the answerer to say no.

For example, instead of saying, “I think we should go to Hawaii for vacation, do you agree?” a no-oriented question is, “I think Hawaii would be a great place to go on vacation. Do you disagree?” The difference is subtle but important. Few people would disagree with the statement, so the asker has an opening to push for what they want.

The other benefit of no-oriented questions is more practical. If you ask, “is doing this a bad idea?” and the person tells you it may be, you can follow up by asking why. This surfaces potential objections that can be worked through individually. It’s an approach that mirrors the Five Whys method of objection handling I wrote about in a past edition of The Better Leader.

If you can phrase more of your negotiating questions so that a no is beneficial to you, you’ll likely get the answer you want more often. Even if this tactic is only five percent more effective, that leads to many more wins over the course of a year.

Voss and his team use no-oriented questions as a core tactic and share how common yes or no questions can be rephrased in that style. One of the easiest shifts is one you have likely heard or used yourself: replacing “Can I talk to you for a few minutes?” with “Is now a bad time to talk?”

Voss and I dug into this framework, and many other insights and tactics for effective negotiation, on this recent episode of the Elevate Podcast.

Is it ever a bad idea to listen to something that will help you learn a vital skill?

See what I did there?

Quote of the Week

“No is a dynamic that you’ve got to master before you can ever master yes.” - Chris Voss

This edition of Friday Forward is brought to you by Northwest Registered Agent and Homeserve.

Have a great weekend!

-Bob

robertglazer.com

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